Repercussion
by Hana Sanyi Kaze
Summary: KagInu If only he could hate her, maybe then she could live with her repercussion... take another leap down the well one last time. Oneshot


_**- Repercussion -**_

I was like a ritual. A habit that could not be broken, even in the direst of circumstances. She'd smile sweetly, the mask of bitter deception painted on her delicately pale features. The bright sparkle in her chocolate eyes had faded over time, the life dying out like the flame of a melted candle.

Lying poisons your heart, just like hate. Dishonesty is the source of self-hate. You'll only destroy your own soul.

But had there ever been a choice? In her somewhat distorted and desperate perspective, there hadn't been. Need and desire had become synonymous to Kagome, disabling her from differentiating between the two completely. He was like food and water to her, if not air. She breathed him in, drank up his scent and tasted him, just to make sure he was real, and not a figment of her childish and vivid imagination.

"Working late tonight?" he asked in that gently, innocent, and painfully oblivious tone. He never suspected a thing.

"Mm, although you know it's just volunteer work. It makes me feel better, but really I'm sorry for having to go out tonight," she apologized automatically, fearing suspicion even with the obvious absence of it.

Kagome's fiancé had never doubted her. His endless support and patience would have been less of an irritation than a suspicious and paranoid man – but his blind trust wounded her deeply in a place she couldn't quite feel anymore. She figured it had been frozen over by the lies and deceit – painted black with the enigma she had become, no where to be seen or impossible to understand.

She was sure their bed had become cold by now, considering all the late nights she spent away from home, "volunteering" for the local woman's shelter.

Gathering her things, the young raven haired woman averted her eyes as she slid on her coat and turned the lock with a painful click. It somehow symbolized being set free, escaping the cage she had voluntarily entered less than six months ago. Fleeing through the door with an almost desperate demeanour, Kagome failed to notice her fiancé's worried expression as he closed the door gently behind her, turning the lock once again.

Kagome walked furiously away from her home, trying to make as much distance between her and the psychological prison without feeling as though she was running away. Once far enough, she slowed her frantic pace and relaxed her white-knuckle grip on her large leather bag. She exhaled, relieved to be away from her fiancé and those gentle eyes of his. Being away was the only way she was able to suppress the guilt, which threatened to overwhelm at any moment. Kagome knew that when that time came, she would crack and shatter like the jewel of four souls.

She felt a pang of hurt in her chest at the reminiscence of her days in the feudal era, the memory of the shattering jewel still vivid in her mind – the arrow, the demon bird's foot, the shot, and the determination of her destiny.

It was about a fifteen minute walk to the old shrine where she had grown up with her family. When Kagome moved to college, her mother decided to put it up for sale. The place was too large, and the family short on money, especially with Kagome's new tuition fee. They had purchased a small apartment near Kagome and her fiancé's new city home. It was small, but homey – a promise of her future husband's new wealth and successes. He was kind and caring, gentle and faithful, but intelligent and ambitious all the same. He was everything any sane woman would have wanted in heaven or on earth – but to Kagome, it wasn't satisfying. She wanted to go back to hell.

No one had bought the shrine. No one wanted to, much to Kagome's relief. It made things easier that way. The place had become relatively abandoned and everything seemed to be falling apart or crawling with dust mites. It was amazing what grandpa's cleaning and care had done while the family still lived there. No one ever would have guessed it was actually this old.

Kagome fiddled with the old wooden doors of the shed in which the well resided. Over the years they had become stiff and impossible to slide. Partially opening them, she managed to squeeze through the tiny gap, wiping a large amount of dust onto her clothes in the process.

"Hello?" she called out to no one in particular once inside. It was pitch black, and her eyes refused to adjust in the slightest manner. Muttering to herself, Kagome cursed her human weaknesses.

Out of the shadows, a hand shot out, grabbing her roughly. The stranger's blunt nails dug into Kagome's small shoulder, causing her to yelp in surprise. Another hand closed in over her mouth, muffling her startled cry as she was pulled back into a ferocious embrace.

"Settle down, damn girl," the stranger said in a familiar, gruff voice.

Kagome exhaled against the warm hand still covering her mouth. Feeling her relax, the occupant released his hold on her, allowing the young woman to turn and face him.

Even in the darkness, she could see the illuminating glow of his amber eyes, an unspoken emotion hidden in their golden depths. She opened her mouth to speak his name, but before her voice managed to reach the air, he grabbed her again, yanking her roughly into his strong arms and pressing her head into his chest.

Kagome inhaled the grassy scent of his red haori, burying her head in deeper.

"Inuyasha," she murmured shakily, the shock of their short parting catching up to her. "I was afraid you wouldn't come."

"Don't be stupid," he replied almost gently. "I always come Kagome. You can count on that."

Kagome nodded numbly, refusing to look at him in the eye. Feeling her tension, the hanyou cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. "Kagome…" he trailed off. " I don't know how long you're going to put up with torturing yourself like this."

She opened her mouth to refute, but he cut her off with a chaste kiss. When she didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss, moving his lips passionately against hers.

Kagome closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around the hanyou's neck. The sensation of his long rough hair against her hands relaxed her. It was the exact opposite of the man who waited patiently for her in that foreign house – yet it eased her guilt, allowing her to lean in and forget her troubles.

Taken by their fervour, the two stumbled across the dark room, their minds screaming confusion and uncertainty while their bodies acted involuntarily. Inuyasha grunted as he knocked Kagome into the wall behind them, pressing her up against it as he took control of her. He knew about the man who cared for Kagome while he was gone. He'd heard it a million times – those explanations of hers that she fed him in order to ease her own guilt. He felt the need to wash away that man's scent, so he kissed harder. Bruising the young woman's lips with his own, he forced his tongue into her mouth to taste her… making sure it still did in fact taste like her.

Kagome moaned as her body responded to Inuyasha – something she could never stop, even if she had wanted to. It was their little secret – this meeting. It had become more frequent, more desperate every single time. The more repeated their meetings became, the worse Kagome felt, increasing her compulsive need for Inuyasha. When it had first started, they had been much more physical – entangled on the floor in his red haori, their naked bodies pressed tightly together in a perfect mould of ardour. She had sworn never to go that far again. After all, there would be no explanation for the repercussions. She sometimes had to remind Inuyasha, stopping his hands as they wandered unconsciously underneath the soft fabric of her clothing, seeking an intimacy she could not give. It wasn't that she didn't want to – she had already given in more than once – but there was no telling what kind of a hole she'd dig herself into if it went that far again.

His kisses were becoming desperate again, his breathing heavy. Kagome was trapped against the wall as his body pressed ferociously against hers, searching for some kind of weakness, hoping she'd surrender just by chance. Furrowing her eyebrows, Kagome pulled away.

"Inuyasha, that's enough for tonight," she said softly, disliking the way she had to stop him every time.

"Just when it was getting good," he whispered in between breaths, his head lowered and his lips mere centimetres away from hers.

Frowning, Kagome lifted a hand and placed it on his heated cheek. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely. Sliding across the wall she stepped away from him, gathering her things. She could feel Inuyasha's eyes on her, watching her idly as she prepared to leave.

"I hate this as much as you do, you know," he said suddenly. "It hurts me too. I may not have some guy waiting for me, thinking I'm loyal to him – but it really does hurt… knowing I'm stuck, trapped, and I'm powerless when I want to be with you so badly."

He rarely spoke like this. The words caused a lump to form in Kagome's throat as tears rushed to her eyes. She refused to turn, not wanting him to see. If he did he'd only feel compelled to comfort her – and that was the last thing she needed right then.

"Only time will tell," she said shakily, before slowly making her way out of the small building which contained the well. They rarely said goodbye anymore – it just didn't seem to hold any meaning.

When Kagome reached home, he was waiting for her, sitting at the kitchen table – that strange man she had somehow agreed to marry.

"What are you doing up?" she asked in surprise. "You should go to bed, not wait around for me."

"Well I was going to," he said calmly. "But I wanted to remind you about your appointment tomorrow."

Kagome blinked. "Appointment?"

"You're awfully forgetful these days," he sighed. "You have that ultrasound, remember?" He stood then, making his way over to Kagome. Getting down on one knee, he reached up with a hand, gently running it over the young woman's belly. "You're three months along now… we have to keep track and make sure everything is ok."

The sudden reminder raged to Kagome's head like a bullet from the barrel of a shotgun. Her heart leapt into her throat as he considered the repercussions of her and Inuyasha's earliest meetings. She still had six months… but when the time came, would he be able to tell the child wasn't his? Would Inuyasha come for her? The half-demon had sniffed it out before Kagome even knew she carried the life within her. She knew this was part of the reason he felt so guilty and acted so desperate every time they met.

It was a time bomb, ticking closer and closer to an explosion that would likely destroy everything. But once it did, would Kagome finally be able to leave everything behind and simply leap back into the well? Would she be able to raise her repercussion in a world filled with secrets that no one would ever have to know about?

If this man could only hate her – then maybe she could.

- End -

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review !!


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